Easier said than done, create your own story
Your story may not have such a happy beginning but that does not make you who you are, it is the rest of it- who you choose to be – kunfu panda 2. When do I realise that the beginning is over and the choice to become starts? Do we get a sign ? A mail, message, what’s app ? How do I come to know of it?
I am wandering for this answer! Has it really ended how do I decide when to move on or to hold back? Does the energy still thing really work? I cannot give you the eternal truth answer, however I can share with you my experiences.
The story does not end till the time you are breathing. I always thought, it’s done I can start a fresh. The past bitter experiences haunts, the flammable fuel generates with every bitter experience. The old yet to be burnt fuel exists and then new experiences ignites the fire. Which may or may not compensate for the cause of ignition. The fact is, I have the fuel because the experiences were not dealt with, healed with love, affection. Damn, the experience are topping up the fuel tank to burn more tyres. Ignoring the fact that life is here, now as it is in the current situation. Burning tyres and crossing miles does not add up to the destination but only the false hope that there will be light tomorrow, there will be something better than what it is today! It does not happen that way, it just does not.
That hope it would be better tomorrow when kept for hours, days, months, years and decades, you start losing hope. You start to question your believes, the principals you stood for, now are far far more behind, you question yourself and that my friend is when you start to cook your story! So you wanted it to be good, however what you are doing is doubting day and night the story cooking in the head. It is unconscious, it is a seed planted in the head without a fruit, the algae destroying the flora and fauna, sanity of the mind.
This is when the story starts to go south, it is really easy to say I want to be good, rich and successful, but within the self doubt pricks you and pricks you real hard. Making lose your direction, your vision and your control over yourself. This my dear friend is when your thoughts are in not in line with your actions, then you do not reach new heights however you fall greater depths.
Some call it depression, name whatever the …. you want. Reason yourself, heal yourself, forgive yourself and then think about others, because anybody, not just you can and will find faults in you inspite of and despite of your best intentions, efforts and life will not be fair. That is how it is going to be, you have to learn to deal with bigger and bigger #%$# ups happening. It will never get better, you will have to become stronger, smarter you have to make sure, you are attracting the right people, opportunities and energies around you. Still things would go bad, you were just a part of the plan, plans are just not made by angels but demons as well.
What helps, how to recalibrate your own self ? For me meditation helps, exercise helps and trust me the bigger, the worse the wound the more time you need to heal, but healing yourself is only going to allow you to write you own story, take my word for it. Write it well.