Centre Of My Universe
A married life is more about you looking at the mirror. When you are away from the mirror or you do not want to look into the mirror or hesitate to look at the mirror then the erosion starts to take place. The mirror is not that clean anymore, may not give you the actual look, or may be distorted, deviating or hiding the flaws which is actually the use to have a mirror in the first place. However we all know that! What’s the challenge? The challenge is not know it but to believe in the mirror.
Like all marriages over the period of time we have had our own set of differences, but more realistically we have had our own set of learnings, with the differences. My biggest learning lately was the realisation of what / whom am I making the centre of our universe. As both of us come from very different backgrounds, at times what my wife speaks knowingly; unknowingly gets me thinking. An instance wherein I was making work / work related things the centre of our universe; the question asked to me was, is it that really important? I realised actually not and the next thing I knew is what / whom am I making the centre of the universe. All of us have the circle of influence, the circle of work, the circle of ignorance, the circle of lets not discuss about it and above all the circle of life, which happens to be our universe.
When we say it does not affect me, is it because it has affected, the reason you do not want to affect it anymore? The conclusion so far, avoiding is not gonna help and head on is going to hurt. Where do we go? Ideally this is wherein your partner acts as a catalyst. It is to my understanding if anybody would know how to break in a news it is your better half, others would do it as they feel like. Conversely your partner is the one who would be able to break in the news when it is required rather going around the bush and making it a story of later than never.
So why is the difference of opinion so important, basically what has got you in a circle of twirls, in the situation, will not really be helpful to take you out of it. Your marriage can be that ice breaker helping you to stop / avoid making the not so important people / things the centre of the universe. If you compare you are diminishing, if you only look upto you are always defeated. You have to compete with yourself everyday and every passing day striving for a goal which is more holistic view of your life, you are succeeding.
The success and failure is always your own feeling and let not be benchmarks set by others. Don’t have unrealistic expectations, define your expectations with your partner. Your majority of the differences are resolved by the time you know what you are expected to do or your partner understand your expectations. The smaller the circle of influence lesser contrasting views you would have. As what you receive in response is not what is best for you, but what the other person wants you to do.
This is where it all makes the difference, for somebody who has to walk with you in your thick and thin and somebody at a comfortable distance suggesting best know path, without repercussions! Also have very open conversations cause at times it is better to be defeated / enlightened / break assumptions with small group than open forums where you might have the second chance. The biggest factor killing an opinion difference is assumption. Assume less, ignore least and appreciate the person taking out the time to share the differences the most.
Happy Married Life To You.