It was us but movies also

The list of differences are never ending, be it movies, choice of food, friends, relatives, parents you listen to more (lol) name it and there is another view may not be contradicting, may not be opposing but may be different. A relationship is above the difference wherein you appreciate each other more than all the funny things people try to bring in between you, including you and your limited thinking! The less selfish you, wherein you understand experience together and togetherness is what you need in life than experiencing what you have already experienced.

We have illusion of the perfect world, whereas marriage is reality to have perfect real punch on your face to your illusion! Confusing think again, when you were single it was always like when you would be; with the special one it would be like this, it would be like that. When together it is has happened it is a reality then suddenly illusion is not a illusion. Now that is when you start to realise the differences, the sniffs and because you could not imagine it any further everything is not that cool. However marriage is more than that, people say it is a social bonding, honestly it is not it is just social respect you have earned. Well the idea here is not about stigma’s. It is about how to to manage what is not imagined.

The taste for music and movies with me and my wife is like poles apart, taste apart, languages apart. However instead of making an attempt to get used to the taste for each other, we started doing it better. We try to opt for how much we can appreciate and bear, or else we just excuse ourselves. Also trying live concerts, movies outside is a better idea than making it just a home affair also sticking to just one routine which is biggest killer of all emotions. Also space is required I feel not because you don’t have it, but because you do not communicate and tell exactly the problem. Over the years I have learnt it is okay to tell your crazy reasons, random thoughts, everyday mundane issues than to say I need some space. Getting a feedback is your option but informing your concerns that is something you need to take care off. At times telling that I am looking for an answer now is a better idea. Special note about surprises, just to make it a surprise don’t ruin things before. Just say it is a surprise. You will get to know it.

There are something’s you can manage and somethings you cannot. Things which are non negotiable type, worst example which side of the bed to sleep, however I have learnt everything is negotiable and it is only because I have formed a habit it is difficult to think otherwise. Whereas I would like to share a little secret with you. I have also got interesting insights to my decisions, different view to my thought process and it has been a good idea. Because then it was just not me in my own thought process but also what it is and not from somebody too different from me, but my better half. Obviously it did not happen in a day and sharing your honest thoughts and taking a feedback is not that easy, but when the other person proves it again and again that we would share feedback and trust the decision and not pursuit to change the decision.

Your life is yours and responsibility for a healthy relationship to a very large extent is also yours, now that you have already made a decision, make sure it is the best decision you have taken.

Happy Marriage to you!!!

 

 

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