Chapter 8: The call and call waiting

It is close to 1am in the night, with all the sobbing and calming Leela down, we were just off to move ahead and talk it out, things that we should have spoken long time back. Things that would have made a lot of difference when things were going wrong; things we should have spoken when every breath was of togetherness! Finally with Leela’s sobbing she said that she is sorry, three magical words “I am sorry” which meant much more to me than she saying me “I love you”. For the first time I knew she meant it.

Leela said “I shouldn’t have done and said a lot of things, but I truly loved you and could not even think about losing you for a second from my life, in the due course oblivious to the impact on you. I just kept on making you compromise for anything and everything. I didn’t realise it before; but once when you had moved out of my life, it was as crystal clear, as to what I have lost in Life, there was nothing grey that was left between you and me or my feelings for you, and I became absolutely clear.”

The sobbing continued for some time I had to say this, it was been buried inside me for so long that I had to vent it out and I did, I said “Leela, please don’t mind me saying me this, but all the time all you thought was that you are going to lose me. Well congratulations, you did lose me, remember I had told whatever you would ask for you shall get it, the quote for The Alchemist “Whenever you ask for something from the bottom of your heart, the whole world shall conspire to make it happen to you” also the cosmic energy would not understand the words no, not, never… so basically all you asked was for losing me all the time.” I did sound philosophical but that is exactly who I am.

Leela “things have gone wrong and I know who to blame none other than me. All I am trying to understand is that can we do something about it?” Her direct question was like a bolt to me. She accepting that things went wrong and agreeing to the fact that it was not only me to be blamed for. She just wanted to vent out as much as I did I guess and every word was unfeigned without a doubt. “I really wanna make up for a lot of things, also for a lot of people. I remember you saying that, moving on is the not the solution, but to deal understand and accept would leave lasting friends. Truly I never moved ahead of you”

I could not resist “I don’t wana sound any naive in all this, but you did move on and now I am more worried is it with all the past baggage you talking to me or it is actually you?”

Leela “I can only try to understand your dilemma, but trust me I meant no harm before or now and all I am saying; is all the truth that I have learnt, Prithvi thank you for being there with me…” some more sobbing and some more calming her down. “I remember you telling me LEARNINGs which I always laughed on, but in despair I remembered you; remembered everything that you told me to be taken care off. Every-time you told me in adverse situations that this is the learning from it, so we should learn and move ahead. Learning, yes I should have learnt”

All I had to say is “There are no free lunches, just because you got for free, it didn’t strike you. That is it! Leela let by gone’s be by gone, there is so much more ahead. One thing that I am more worried about is all this that has happened; has it made you a better person or a bitter person?”

Leela “How would you differentiate it and what difference does it make?”

“Well it makes a lot of difference to the continuity of the relationship also it makes a lot of difference to a person. Like is it real you or you are to behave, act because of your past learning? Because if it is not for the better and not incorporated in you, then all this is temporary, superficial, forced. How long you will be able to keep up with this? You remember the potato story right?”

Leela “not really”

“Well, in a primary class, the class teacher said, that you have get as many potatoes as many people you don’t like / hate. The next day a few children brought 1, a few bought 3 and one child brought in 8 potatoes. The teacher was surprised and asked the child bringing in 8 potatoes are you sure you don’t like so  many people around you? She said that all these potatoes should be kept in a plastic bag and till the time you are in school, you are always supposed to carry them. After a week the children with 1 were still ok, the ones with 3 started complaining about it and the one with 8, started crying and yelling out to the teacher, ‘that I cannot carry it anymore, it sticks, my friends don’t wanna come near me, I have to have my lunch alone and it is really heavy, carrying it all the time, my hands pain a lot”

Moral of the story is “the more grudges one shall keep, the more difficult the life would be to lead ahead and surely losing your loved ones”

Leela “hmmm”

“My point of telling you the story is, if you have grudges against people, you would stink and lead nowhere but keep on hoping and jumping from one person to another person. If you really think that yes things have gone wrong, then you must decide that such circumstances shall not arise again; that would be learning. You sad and sorry that is why you agreeing to me would not help, when tomorrow you will be all happy and cheerful. All in all it is got to be you than the circumstances that make you agree with a person”

Leela “You and your stories, you still have so much patience, especially you are so patient with dealing with me. I agree to what you are saying I had never thought it any other way, but yes I shall give it a thought. One thing is for sure I told everything and every word that I meant, just remember that.”

“I have a calling waiting coming from Payal wait, let me talk to her because it is late and she does not give a call just like that”

Leela “You don’t have to explain anymore, I am serious and I would not judge for this”

I picked up the call waiting “Hi, Payal tell me”

Payal “Prithvi I love you so much, I am so in love with you I can’t tell you, words are just not enough for me to tell you how much I love you. I cannot keep my feelings to myself anymore. So wanted to let you know can I become your better half?”

This was not how it was supposed to be “Payal where are you?”

Payal “Demon’s paradise”

“hmm and how much did you drink?”

Payal stammering a bit “Prithvi I asked you a question and you, well let me remember; I don’t remember how many ha ha ha”

Shit I murmured to myself “Payal is anybody with you there?”

Payal “Yeah I guess, but don’t remember anybody else expecting you!”

“Payal I coming to pick you up in 10 mins ok, till then please don’t drink anymore, just sit down and I will be there”

Payal “I can wait till eternity for you”

She is really drunk, man what is wrong with everybody today call swapped “Leela I got to go will explain it you later alright but now I got to go will call you back in some time”

Leela “is everything fine? And you’re some time or my some time?”

“Leela yes everything is fine and my some time, bye”

“By…”

I cut the phone half way

My some time meant right from 5 minutes to 5 hours whenever I can call back, whereas Leela’s some time is 10 to 20 minutes maximum.

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